Friday, May 15, 2009

Acceptance Quotient

How do we accept people in our circle and scheme of things? How often does a guy or gal touch you so much that you don't mind them being among your friends? Does this happen naturally? How can a complete stranger become a nice friend in a matter of very less time? How does this thing of familiarity work without even our mere conscience?

The answer is a complete puzzle. We as a social animal are very demanding when it comes to choosing friends and people whom we get along. Not required to be just friends, just accepting someone for what he is. This does not come very easily to us. As time rolls on, we find out that person very cool. Our first impression does not lost of a long. "That guy talks too much" will soon turn to "He is cool" without us understanding how that transformation has happened.

Complete strangers who come into your life, whom you meet everyday afterwards. They can completely turn and mend your sphere of thinking. Last year when I had been to Israel, I have some friends there. One of them told me, to get close to someone who is a stranger very quickly is to know the native language. To learn bits and pieces of the language and use it during a conversation. This will make the stranger more comfortable and free to express his feelings.

Breaking the ice as they say, is one of the most important part of communication skills. If you notice, the guy or gal who has a such an approach of breaking the ice for communication will generally have lot of friends. It is an attribute to their communication skills. Most of them just land up not talking with people around and find themselves after a long time without many friends.

Even asking some personal questions to strangers might just mend minds and make you more acceptable in an alien world. Just a question like "Hi, how was your weekend?" or may be "Did you see the match yesterday?" can go a long distance in help filling the gap between people. Such extrovert behavior sometimes gets the thumbs down at the start. But soon you will be accepting as long as the behavior is very light and not too personal. You will find "Hey this guy is amusing!!" You will smile when he asks some questions which are considered to be personal questions as per you. In other words, you don't expect him to ask such question. You are just not prepared.

I met a guy, who joined as a security guard at my office. As far as a security guard goes, there is a set ideology in our minds that, he is an uneducated guy. He will be quiet and not speak a word; just talk a little, smile a little. No more no less. Sometime when you initiate a conversation he joins in. Sometimes he helps you carry something heavy. That's a set image we have about a security guard. This guy was different.

He was an extrovert. He spoke fluent English, with no stutter. He made eye contact with all, when he said "Hi' or "Good morning". He talked with everyone on the phone in English. He used to ask many people about their hobbies, how their weekend shaped up? He gave respect to everyone. He did not show lot of ego. He meant energy. He did rob some words out of me, when I never thought I will say a word. Talked about games not just cricket but even football. He was a ManU fan. He used to show lot of exuberance and played carom and TT after his shift timings. I was totally taken aback seeing all this. As this is not according to the script.

I did not accept him in the start as he seemed like he was too extrovert. I thought he was acting too smart. But slowly he did etch something in me towards him. He changed my attitude towards him by just being polite and asking things, that I never expected him to ask. I played carom with him. I did beat him, but every shot he kept saying "Nice try sir" "Nice shot sir" "Well tried". I don't know if he let me win, but he has create quiet an image for himself in me. Some people have the God's gift of impressing anyone. Most of them don't understand them and keep running away from them, just to avoid an unwanted question.:) :)


Nim said...

lol..i totally agree with you on this one... I can never be an extrovert but these people are seriously cool sometimes...

Ann Dee said...

I was planning to write a similar post since a long time..on the people we meet, who most unexpectedly leave an indelible impression in us...the maid, watchmen, professors, can be anybody, anywhere..
good post!

LAN said...

@Nim: :) i agree; they are totally different from the masses

@Ann: hey thanks man; yup people sure are unpredictable!! :) :)

Anonymous said...

You are so right on this. It is all about being aware about who you are with and what they will like, isn't it? Good post yaa. Your guard sounds like quite a dude too!

LAN said...

@choco: yup i agree, he is totally cool!! :) :)