Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Loneliness Quotient

Loneliness can mar not only the time you are lonely, but would become a part of you in your psycho. Letting it go is not only difficult but also tricky as it keeps coming back. Its more of a feeling than a phenomenon. Addiction to something may be caused because of loneliness.

Positive energy is sapped, which leads to depression and rage. Disoriented thoughts makes days look like weeks. Friends betray your trust, act weird with no reason. Where does such a traumatized soul go after all? It is difficult to hold one self when the feeling is negative. Positive energy is like a oasis which comes and goes. Before you can blink your eyes, you are back to the boredom of infinite thickness. Breaking the shackles off which is takes utmost determination.

Anger is a double edged sword, which causes more ego outburst: in-turn gives back nothing but takes away lot of things. Past unforgettable events comes to torment you again and again, which will sap the living day lights out of your positive energy. Letting go things is something I realized could not help in such a black hole of a situation, as I can see no end.

When you trust someone with utmost belief and he happens to slip a knife from behind you cannot do much; rather than feel helpless. I have lost many of my friends because of time, distance, the unknown and the lost. I feel the later is the most paining aspect of it all.

Now every-time I think of doing something good to someone, the past gives a peep and says, "Is it worth it? " "Don't you think you are giving too much in return for nothing" All I can say at the present frame of mind is that I have given up... doing any good deeds to anyone... I would stay neutral till my mind and self gets back to a normalcy. Recent events have created a crater in the good deeds section of my brain.


♥ ♥Duchess ♥ ♥ said...

People these days are worthless..
i alwys like to depend on my family n very few ppl i am sure they love me in future..! Though I loved wot u wrote...
I can totally relate..It happened with me everytime
every1 hurts us at one point or the other ..u hav to decide who u give tht right to...but obviously..
backstabbers..betrayers and players.
Harsh this world is.

LAN said...

@Duchess: The world is really a tough place... we go to have a thick skin and move along.. :) :)
It is all good untill it happens to you... :) I have learnt to move along now :)

Vyzz said...

well u write quite well


and wat u siad is quite true, but giving urself selflessly is the beauty of being alive :)

that's how wiser it can get..

LAN said...

@Vyzz... :) :) thanks for coming by.. these people have changed me from a very nice guy to someone who does not want to be a nice guy anymore...
It will take time for me to come back to being a nice guy again.. :)